well i haven't slept at all since waking up yesterday morning. coffee still seems to be working. hmm.. well, since i was up watching Arsenal kick ass and Real coming back from being a goal down, i had enuf time to hav breakfast, a long shower, play with my new blog, which i am really proud of. it looks pathetic to everyone else but wif practice, i'm sho i'll go from having a vurry retarded blog to a semi-retarded looking blog.

anyways, after going to mass wif my aunt [who is more catholic then anyone else on my dad's side almost], i came home and fiddled wif my new blog again and chatted to ppl on msn. namely pom, chuchii, tia, bobby, aaaand cb!! must say, i had fun talking to cb about soccer ~ he's the ONLY one that will discuss it wif me [besides mish in yr 11]. i think i wil visit cb one of these days.. lol.

okay, well back to my day... so while i was still chattin, bee called me, "are you in the city?" was the first thing she said. - her parents are down so she is living at the Sheraton Hotel for now. posh, huh? well they practically live there anyways so yer.. i met bee's lil, gorgeous, and taller-than-the-both-of-us sistah. and we went to The Regent to watch The Notebook. HOLY CRAP, i balled my eyes out in that movie! - both bee and i did and we ended up comin outta the cinema all puffy-eyed, almost like we'd been beaten up. but it's decided that we are going to watch it AGAIN wif jay! can't wait.

anyways, i will go now. but pls check out my new blog, even tho there is nada on it yet.. and you HAVE to watch The Notebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll be seeing you, me?!

so i survived the first two weeks of term 4. my last term of bludginess. maybe i shud b less stressed about school n shit and just chill but it's so much harder not to, i guess.

you wanna re-cap? well hurr it goes...

the first day at school was a breeze - it didn't even feel like i had left in the first place: it was all completely norm from arrival at the bordo. i got settled in in my new dorm priddy quick as well. [my dorm mates this turrm are: pom, lee, n suff -> again, no real names but yer]
well, then things got weird thru mid-week; english deadline was coming closer, my magazine cover submission for graphics was due in, and a heap of shit havin to do wif sumfink totally fucked was thrown at me. so everythin was turned upside down and it was all headin down hill for me. by the weekend, i was so ready to jump offa bridge wif a big ass rock strapped to me for a quicker end to it all. i felt gross going to the city - everyone looked so gorgeous n i was there in my gay ass "i'm so over the beckhams" shirt and same old feral faded jeans. i only looked forward to throwing myself at the usual busy traffic our "bewdiful" town has at 6pm on friday nites. not much luck there eitha. then came week two where everyday was a rush to the computah rooms to work on english for us yr 10s or to get a picture for the magazine cover for us design students. i was so fuckin stressed but since i'm me, i kept it all quiet. - other people have worse problems, so why complain? then, on top of the work overload, i began to feel homesick, which happens sometimes if you haven't seen home for a year or so. but, again, i stayed quiet. well, i tried to talk to b about it, but she had her own life to worry about and i didn't wanna sound too selfish.
then came THURSDAY [14 oct]. what a bad day. i woke up at 3am to check my english again before chapel at 7am - working on it til about 5:50 before having a looooooong shower. after chapel, i rushed to breakfast, had a mandarin and dashed to the computah room to print out my final copy for english. that done, i went to form class - which i was heaps late for. i was assigned to grounds that day, and told that we had house meetings as well -> which i REALLY hate. ooookaaaay, i thought, it's jus a bad start.. things'll improve.. i priddy much kept to myself since that's what i need when 1) i got no one to talk to and 2) i need to chill out. so at lunch, i tried to act as norm as possible and just be a quieter me. but then e showed up. i totally love her since she's such a good friend and totally awesome, but at that moment - when i was just getting over feeling like shit - i really did not wanna b bothered. but bothering people is what e is a pro at, which is woulda been heaps funny any other day. but not that day. but i tried to ignore it sorta by jus playing along her little annoying-me attempts. i'm not gunna lie eitha - i'm priddy small so it's easy to push me around, which is exactly what e was doing -> gripping tightly on my arm, etc. so when she tripped me, it was getting to the last straw. i really did not wanna get any of this shit when my life was messed up enough so when she bent down to larf and ask if i was okay, i slapped her. i wasn't thinking - i was just pissed off and ready to burst. but i slapped her in the face; and apparently, i slapped her hard. everyone - who was larfing at e and i before - went quiet. my adrenaline was pumping still but i walked off, leaving her and all the other girls who we were sitting wif rite there. all i rememba was turning around to see them all staring at me, so i just gave them a weird sort of smile (i dunno why) and continued walking. i just went to the wearin room - where were watching Bruce Almighty for divinity - but finding it locked, i went to the comp room to see if my parents had written me an email. I hadn't heard from them for nearly a month so i was hoping to get an email. nope. things at home [wif the telephone lines] were still bad. i was sorta shaking so i went to the bathroom and washed my face. phew, i said to myself, okay, they'll understand that you're having a ruff time and e will definately get over it. so i put on my usual carefree sorta smile and walked into the wearin room to find ppl there. i spotted bee n jay [*not real names] and pulled up a chair in front of em. i sighed and gave em a smile hello but as soon as i saw their faces i felt like an idiot. they didn't smile back, but instead, they gave me a "fuck-off-you-bitch" sort of look which also had a bit of "oh-my-fuckin-gosh-you-are-one-asshole". so i stayed quiet but went all numb. what the hell did i just do? then pom n chuchii showed up, sitting next to bee n jay, which gave me an excuse to move. i dragged my chair over to the corner next to pom and sat there, totally dumbstruck. "a, are you okay?" pom asked me. i just nodded silently, pretending i was listening to mrs jameson yell at LM for the millionth time. but already, i could feel the tears sting my eyes. everyone thinks i am the biggest bitch. and it's prolly coz i am one was all i was thinking. so wen the other 4 girls noticed i was tearing up, they started to look concerned. i didn't wanna look at them so i asked chuchii to come outside wif me. i ended up collapsing in the hall, crying my eyes out. gawd.. i cried so much. about slapping e, about how stressed i was that i was gunna fail english [which i know i hav], about the next assignment i've been given for french, about the dirty looks i had been given by bee n jay, and also because i couldn't say how i was feeling out loud anyways. then mrs k came and found me. we had a chat an i told her everything - except the part about e and she took me to the boarding haus where we talked to mrs barlow. i was let outta class for the afternoon and got to have a sleep in sick bay. so i slept it all off for the afternoon - crying myself to sleep again in the corner bed i chose.

so what's new? mrs barlow told me after school today that i have to see the counsellor now for "anxiety attacks" - the whole breakdown thing has been happenning to me a lot since i do get stressed heaps. it's always the same tho: i get so emotionally unstable and cry all the time -> usually when i am alone. but most recently (as in, last term), i get all psycho at school and have to go to sick bay cuz i just can't work/ concentrate anymore. i don't actually mind seeing the counsellor since i reckon i do need someone to talk to. i really don't wanna talk about shit to the girls at school since they will either a) freak out, b) don't hav time to listen or c) a combination of the above. so this weekend - which is a long one (no school on monday and tuesday) i just wanna de-stress. which will be hard, since i alex is a pain in the arse. i can't wait to die sometimes. on a positive note tho, today - which was QG athletics (meaning we skipped school to watch our athletes compete against otha girls schools in the QG comp) - mr singleton said i am set to become a (graphic) designer and i "got what it takes". i guess that's good, right? since he was a designer. but really, i just wanna get this stupid life over and done with.
oh, and now - from all that pointless cheering in the sweltering heat - i got a massive headache.
i'm going to bed. me.

[PS. this was originally published on friday 14th october @ 9:30pm]

yer, maybe i will see yous later.. not sho when - maybe in two weeks since i am going back to

+ Form Class = Ms Minoti; 8:20am - 8:29am +

~ Assembly = [Eton Hall] 8:30am - 8:57am ~

+ TEC - Graphic Design = Mr Singleton; 9:00am - 9:50am + 

+ SOSE - Legal Studies = Ms Brumpton; 9:53am - 10:43am +

~ Morning Tea = 10:43am - 11:09am ~

+ The Arts - Visual Art = Mrs Leckie; 11:09am - 11:59am

+ Mathematics B - Mr Seefeld; 12:02pm - 12:52pm

~ Lunch = 12:52pm - 1:37pm

+ Science = Mrs Davies; 1:38pm - 2:27pm

+ LOTE - French = Ms Marshall; 2:30pm - 3:20pm

oh well, i am sposed to be awake in 4 hours so shit. i HAVE to do this tho... watch the Y Tu Mama Tambien trailer!! i hafta see this movie! plus La Mala educación!! Pedro Almodóvar makes such good movies (like Todo Sobre Madre y Hable Con Ella).. but i hafta say - i'm so in love with Gael Garcia Bernal!!!! te amo!!!

buenas noches.. or should i say buenos dias..? besos, mi?!

watch the Hable Con Ella trailer here!

well i hav only a few moments of libertad left so i will hav to breathe all the free air i can while i can. oh the joys of boarding school. *rolls eyes*

hey, i'm not scared of cb anymore, i don't think. he's cool so there. i'm jus being paranoid me, i guess. i luv the spanish lessons! mwahaha.. so when i meet torres, he won't kno what hit him when i speak my flashy spanish. LMAO! lol.. not! as if i would! if i even came within 20 yards of fernando torres or gael garcia bernal {who i luv luv luv!} i would totally freeze. you kno me...

hmmm.. well i expect that when i wake up on monday i wont hava clue as to where the hell i am since i keep havin dreams that i am back at home and wake up here at the haus completely clueless. but doesn't matter i guess you can blame the excessive use of amphetamines and narcotics for the weirdness experienced in the mornings. jks - naw i'm no druggie. but yer.. i found this cool thingy [thru mathibus web thingy] on this website thingo.. here is a preview [funny stuff too!]

This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who received the highest honors at the school district’s Ebonics translation competition.

Assignment: Please translate the following Rap song lyrics from Ebonics to standard English.

Artist: Notorious B.I.G.

Album: Ready to Die

Song: One more chance (remix)

Lyrics: First I talk about how I dress and this/ And diamond necklaces - stretch Lexuses/ The sex is just immaculate from the back I get/ Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the/ Climax that your man can’t make/ Call and tell him you’ll be home real late/ Let’s sing the break/

TRANSLATION: I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I understand this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn’t be concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him that you won’t be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus of the song for me also.

jajaja.. funny stuff. lol. but anyways, i'm making myself go to bed early to watch atletico v socieadad tomorrow on ESPN at 5:30 (our time). watch it okay? it's gunna b the last la liga game i will see in a while, i'm guessing so i will hav to relish it while i can. then i hav to go to mass wif my aunt - since i owe her for doin a number of favors for me.

besos, me.

=====================================

bored? well the totally hilarious antics of the happy tree friends cartoons are guranteed to brighten up your day! trust me; their witty, rude, yet bold, humorous approach to shit (not as in "crap"; as in "stuff") will entertain you and break the larfs out like a dozen bottles of ur fav alcoholic beverage {does that analogy work?}. i'm not a fan of rude humor, but this stuff is funny! be prepared to larf! lmao!